Stirring up Memory Lane
by smile1
Summary: Lit! One Parter. Jess stirrs up certain emotions, while Rory stirrs up certain behavior. My perception on the ep: Nag Hammadi. Written with a twist and how I would have done it. PLZ REVIEW! ENJOY! :-)


*Disclaimer: I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original character. All I own is my imagination and the plot. (Spoiler: Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels.)  
  
*A/N: This has a 'been there done that' feeling to it, I agree, but just give it a chance before you judge. It's just another 'could have gone......' :-)  
  
*~*~*:-)*~*~*Bye, smile :-)  
  
Rory cradled the cup of coffee between both of her hands, letting the steam warm her face as it rose and detached itself from the almost black liquid. She shivered at the feel of the numbing wind as it pulled at her coat with its frozen fingers, trying to penetrate so it could cover the last of her body warmth with a layer of merciless coldness. Every window she passed was covered with a breakable layer of ice and the few puddles that hadn't evaporated yet were now frozen and glazed with slipperiness. A night that was too cold for snow.  
  
Rory listened to the tapping of her mother's heels on the sidewalk as her voice followed the same steady pace. Rory missed having someone around that could make a feeling of incandescence spread throughout her body, making the icy wind just a little more tolerable. A warmth that would cause the wisp of a smile to appear on her face, a smile her mom was wearing right now. She used to have that.  
  
Rory couldn't help but throw a glance in the diner's direction as they passed it, one that held deeper emotions and a sharper sadness then she would ever admit. Suddenly her eyes caught a hold of an object that wasn't supposed to be there, not anymore. She came to an abrupt stop and let out a gasp of surprise. She recognized that beat-up car, although she had only been in it a few times. Her eyes wandered to the fogged up windows as she suddenly realized who that woman was that ran into her earlier. She had introduced herself as Liz and forgot mentioning her last name, Mariano. She started to approach the car, driven by curiosity and hope.  
  
She stopped only inches from the car and looked through the window. She saw the outline of him sprawled out on the back-seat, his hands buried in his jacket and his eyes closed. She couldn't take her eyes away from his sleeping figure when she heard her mother's footsteps behind her. Apparently her conversation with Jason had come to a sudden end.  
  
''Is that who I think it is ?''  
  
Rory nodded, unaware of how her fingers were tightly gripping the plastic cup in her hands. ''What's he doing here ?''  
  
Lorelai didn't answer, but just followed her daughter's gaze to the boy in the car.  
  
''Why isn't he inside ?'' Rory asked, concerned about the fact that there were enough cracks and small openings in Jess's car to lead the cold air straight to him.  
  
Lorelai shrugged. ''Maybe Luke hasn't seen him yet.''  
  
''He's parked in front of the diner.''  
  
Lorelai looked up and immediately spotted Nicole's car parked only a few feet away.  
  
''I don't think Nicole would appreciate Jess staying in the apartment with them. It would ruin her alone time with Luke,'' Lorelai answered, her slightly bitter.  
  
''We can't let him sleep in the car, it's too cold.''  
  
''He looks clothed enough,'' Lorelai said.  
  
''Mom........''  
  
''Sweets, I'm not sure that that'll be such a good idea, especially after...........''  
  
''I don't want him to freeze,'' Rory interrupted, as she turned her head to look at her mother.  
  
Lorelai looked at Jess once more before meeting Rory's gaze. ''Are you sure ?''  
  
Rory nodded and returned her eyes to the window.  
  
''Then I'll go home and prepare the couch. Just know that I really don't like this.''  
  
She heard her mother sigh when she didn't respond. ''I guess I'll see the two of you in a few minutes.''  
  
Lorelai turned around and started to head home, a frown clearly visible on her face.  
  
Rory waited for her mom's footsteps to subside before knocking on the window, her heart nervously increasing speed as she did this.  
  
''Go away!'' he half yelled, his eyes remaining closed.  
  
Rory let out a shaky breathe, before letting his name roll off her tongue. ''Jess.''  
  
This time his eyes flew open and immediately found their focus on the familiar figure he could see through the ice tainted window. He shifted in his seat, so he could roll the window down, unsure of what he should be expecting.  
  
''Hey,'' Rory said, as she quickly met Jess's eyes before lowering them to her feet. A shiver ran through her while Jess wondered what she wanted.  
  
''What ?'' he asked, his voice mimicking the coldness which held the night in its spell.  
  
''Well, uhm........,'' Rory started, feeling nervous underneath the weight of Jess's eyes. ''I know Nicole's staying with Luke tonight, so I can only imagine that the place might get crowded with you there...........''  
  
''Luke just doesn't want me there,'' Jess stated.  
  
Rory brought her eyes up to his. ''You can stay at my house, if you want. I mean, it's too cold for you to sleep out here and I know that all I can offer you is the couch, but.........''  
  
''What about your mom ?''  
  
''She's not happy with it, but she agreed that it's cold, so............''  
  
''That's all I need to know,'' Jess said, before rolling up the window and opening the car door so he could get out.  
  
Rory took a few steps back, giving him the space he needed. When he slammed the door shut she saw his lack of gloves. She handed him the coffee, which he just stared at.  
  
''It's warm.''  
  
Jess looked at her and took the coffee, giving her the opportunity to wrap her arms around herself. They started to walk towards Rory's house in an uncomfortable and foreign silence.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Jess lay on the couch, which he had to admit was more comfortable than the back-seat of his car, with his eyes open. He spend the few minutes he had been awake to observe the room. It was still like he remembered, except for the useless gadgets and pictures that had increased since the last time he had been in here. He got up and walked over to a picture he hadn't seen before. The robe Rory was wearing made it obvious that it had been taken on the day of her graduation. He felt bad for not being there on her big day. He did call with the intention of congratulating her, but when he had heard her voice, all courage slipped away.  
  
Jess wandered into the kitchen, the place where he had seen her for the first time. She had been sitting in her room, with her back facing him. He walked over to the door which was now closed, shielding herself from him. Jess sighed and turned around, thinking that he shouldn't be standing in front of her door like this, but stopped when he heard a faint sobbing. The same cries she had been on the verge off on the day of her graduation. But no tears were spilled that day, because she wanted to stay strong, like she was doing right now. Jess knew that she had found his weakness. Guilt layered itself on his conscience, knowing that he was the reason for her pain. He reached out and knocked on the door.  
  
''Go away, mom, I don't wanna talk about it !'' was her response, one he had been expecting.  
  
''Rory.''  
  
''Go away, Jess.''  
  
He could hear her cries get louder and was forced to open the door to a clearly upset girl, who was sitting on her bed shedding her tears openly, because no one was supposed to disturb her.  
  
''Rory,'' Jess repeated.  
  
Rory looked at him through her wet lashes, keeping her eyes hidden from him. ''Please go away.''  
  
Jess ignored her imploration and made his way over to the bed, as she was trying to wipe away all evidence of her sadness. He waited for her to yell at him or cry for him to leave the room, but when she didn't, he sat down next to her on the bed. He traced her tears with his eyes as they slid down her cheek, which she didn't wipe away, because she was so self-conscious about herself now that she had his full attention.  
  
Jess slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Although Rory wasn't quick enough to stop his earlier movement, she did manage to place her hands firmly against his chest and tried to resist, tried to fight the closeness he was pulling her into, but she lost the stubborn battle when she felt Jess wrap his other hand around her too. She balled the thin material in her hands, as she tried to grasp for resistance one last time. When she couldn't find any, she buried her face in his chest and kept sobbing.  
  
''You didn't tell me where you were going, you just left.''  
  
Rory's cries become louder and her entire body felt the pain as it ripped through her and opened up her bottled up emotions.  
  
''You weren't at my graduation, you were supposed to be there.''  
  
Jess didn't say anything as he pulled them both down onto the bed until they were lying next to each other, her face still hidden in his shirt. He gently pushed her away, so he could see her face. He wiped the strands of hair to the side, before bringing his lips down onto her face. He didn't miss an inch, as he tried to make her stop crying. He didn't deserve to be cried over, just like he never deserved her or all the caring emotions that came with it. He kept placing soft kisses onto her face until she stopped crying completely.  
  
''Where did you go ?'' Rory asked, still looking at her hands which were still desperately gripping his shirt. She didn't want to let go.  
  
''My dad.''  
  
A short silence fell between them, as Rory loosened her grip on his shirt a little. ''It didn't work out, did it ?''  
  
Jess shook his head and stroked her hair.  
  
''How come ?'' Rory softly asked, curious about this part of his past.  
  
''My dad had another family and, I didn't feel like I could fit in.''  
  
''I'm sorry.'' Rory brought her body closer to his. ''I met your mom. She seems really nice.''  
  
''Yeah, she's been doing better.''  
  
''She gave me a bracelet,'' Rory continued, as she lifted her arm to reveal the bracelet Liz had given her earlier, as an apology for running into her.  
  
Jess grabbed her arm and started to run his hands over the small beads. He brought her wrist to his mouth and kissed it.  
  
''You're really here for your car ?'' Rory asked, looking up at him, as he removed his lips from her wrist.  
  
Jess nodded, unable to look at her. Rory buried her face in his chest again while he kept stroking her hair, lulling her to sleep.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The next morning, when Rory woke up, Jess wasn't there anymore. She had never woke up to the feeling of arms wrapped around her, but she could only imagine that it was something that would make her feel safe. She got out of bed, dressed herself with a little more care than normal and left her room.  
  
''So, the couch looks pretty un-slept in,'' was her mom's greeting as she entered the kitchen.  
  
''Mom.''  
  
''Rory, are you sure that was the right thing to do ? I mean, he just left without saying a word and you just let him into your room at night.''  
  
''I know he left, but I missed him,'' Rory admitted, feeling guilty, because he hadn't deserved it.  
  
''I don't know why,'' Lorelai continued. ''You're better off without him.''  
  
''I thought we got over this a while back ?'' Rory asked, frustrated by her mom's anger towards Jess.  
  
''We did, but I still don't trust him. He just showed up here, again.''  
  
''He's still my boyfriend and I just..........I wanted to spend some time alone with him before he had to leave again.''  
  
Lorelai's expression softened at her words and she reached for Rory's hand. ''I'm sorry, hon. I know you've missed him.''  
  
*~*~*  
  
The rest of Rory's morning was spend on the bridge, listening to what she couldn't hear, as she lay on the wood, staring up at the sky. The sun shone in her eyes, but suddenly disappeared when a shadow fell upon her, taking away the beautiful shade of blue she had been studying all this time, while Jess hadn't even noticed the cloudless sky yet.  
  
''How's your car ?'' Rory asked, as she looked up at Jess.  
  
''Up and running.''  
  
Rory nodded and stated, ''So, you'll be leaving ?''  
  
''Rory.......,'' Jess said, running a hand through his hair.  
  
''No, it's fine. I knew you never planned on staying in Stars Hollow, I just wish you would care enough about me to stay.''  
  
Jess narrowed his eyes at her hurtful words, not believing that they had just come out of her mouth. He turned around and left, leaving Rory without saying goodbye, only this time it was her fault, and not his.  
  
*~*~*  
  
When Rory reached the town again, she could see Jess leaving the diner and walking over to his car. She almost ran to catch him and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket, before he could get into his car.  
  
''I'm sorry. Just try to understand what I'm going through right now. It's hard.''  
  
Jess turned around, so he was trapped between her and his car.  
  
''I don't want you to go. I mean, you're my boyfriend and I..........''  
  
''Maybe we should break up,'' Jess interrupted.  
  
''What ?'' Rory asked, caught in a daze of disbelief as she met his stone cold eyes. She lowered her eyes and silently cried.  
  
''Is there another girl ?''  
  
Jess heard the pain in her broken voice and dropped his act out of an unbelievable amount of guilt.  
  
''Come here,'' he said, as he grabbed her arms and pulled her up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. ''I was just trying to make things easier for you.''  
  
''Well, breaking up with me isn't going to make me feel any better,'' Rory uttered.  
  
Jess didn't respond and just held her, knowing that he was going to have to let go.  
  
''Where are you going ?''  
  
''New York.''  
  
''Can I come and visit you ?'' Rory asked, afraid of his answer.  
  
''Luke has the address,'' Jess whispered into her hair.  
  
Rory felt the familiarity of this moment and knew that she had to step out of his safe embrace in a few seconds.  
  
''I love you, Jess,'' she mumbled against his chest.  
  
Jess took a step back, creating a small amount of distance between them, just enough for him to lower his head and bring his lips down upon hers. It was a slow kiss, one that gave the both of them the illusion that they didn't have to let go of each other any time soon. But they did break the kiss and except for Jess's hand over hers, he was already miles away.  
  
''Can we try to keep in touch this time ?''  
  
Jess nodded, before letting go of her hand and getting into his car. Rory stepped onto the sidewalk and locked eyes with him in the rearview mirror, before he drove off, to New York.  
  
*R*E*V*I*E*W*! Please ? :-) Okay, now you can judge. It's not original, but I just wanted to see how I would end up writing this episode. Thanks for reading. And if you haven't yet please check out my one parter: 'Chimera'. It's the first story I'm sort of pleased with. I updated it a week ago, I just want your opinion. Thanks again :-) 


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